Sunday, 2019-03-24, 8:28 PM

Miegantis genijus

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If you took 3 apples from a basket that held 12 apples, how many apples would you have?       (3 !!!)


Why do cows have bells?                ( Because their horns don't work!)


Why do bees hum?                        (Because they don't know the words!)


What animal can jump higher than a house?        (A house can't jump!)


Why can't a man living in Paris be buried in the South of France?     (Because he's still living!)


A man was injected with a deadly poison, but it did not kill him. Why?   (He was already dead!)


An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."



Why are Saturday and Sunday strong days?      (Because they are not weekdays!)



Why do we have two eyes, two ears and only one mouth?   (So that we can see and hear twice as much as we say.)



Man:  "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"

God:   "So you would love her."

Man:  "But God, why did you make her so dumb?"

God:   "So she would love you."


Which month has 28 days?       ( All of them!)



How many letters are there in the English alphabet?   ( 18 letters! 3 in "the", 7 in "English", and 8 in "alphabet". Note)



A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said:

"Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"

"Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."



There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left?  (2 birds. The other 3 fly away!)



If a man was born in Italy, went to America and died in San Francisco, what would he be?   (Dead!)



Why is the letter "T" like an island?    (Because it is in the middle of waTer!)


What is the longest word in the English language?    "Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!



What starts with "P", ends with "E", and has millions of letters?    (The "Post Office"!)



What word begins with "e", ends with "e", and has one letter?    ( Envelope!)



What's worse than finding a maggot in an apple?       (Finding half a maggot!)



Why do witches have brooms?       (Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!)